Do you know someone who’s perfect? The way they act, communicate, handle pressure and conduct themselves is all in line with how you would like them to be all the time? They never annoy you. The only way someone could answer yes to this question is if they aren’t married and live alone in the woods with their dog. We all accept that everyone is different and true relationship is a give and take.

How About Leaders?

Have you ever worked for a perfect leader? Another impossibility. Think about the good and bad leaders in your life. What were the tendencies that they had, good and bad? Were they aware of these tendencies? I doubt it.

It is ok to go through life surrounding yourself with those who validate you but we all know you can’t do this if you are going to lead. You have to deal with those whom you would rather avoid. So how do you deal with them?

Here are 5 questions you need to consider:

Do you avoid situations that may lead to confrontation?
Do you sweep little quirks under the rug that are actually opportunities for development?
What is your communication like?
If you do confront, is your tendency to dominate? Is it short, and to the point so you can move on and get away?
What percentage of your engagement with those folks is over email so you don’t have to talk to them?

By the way, if you’re only thinking of these questions within a work context, think again. Leadership is influence. What other areas in your life do you have influence? How about your extended family? How about the PTA, your place of worship, the sports league or the neighborhood association? We are all dialed into how we would like others to change to fit us. But my question is…

Do you know how you might change to fit others?

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